The Coiled Viscera, Pt. 1

Noteworthy events as of the past two days:
( in chronological order)

1. I made a pretty awesome rice pudding.

2. I worked a couple 12 hour shifts ( Hardly noteworthy, really)

3. My boss, Denise, called me at work and said she had a cute message for me. I was a little disturbed by her happiness, but I listened- She said that the woman I was taking care of before this most recent case had called her and asked if She would give me her phone number. She said the lady said She missed me a lot, I reminded her of herself when She was young, and that She would like me to marry her grandson.

4. I have decided to marry her grandson, as he is both rich and a football player.

5. I read " The Road" ( Cormac McCarthy) twice. I cried at the end both times. It is the most bleak and hopeless story...I love McCarthy for this starkness. His characters are strong, decent and stoic. They are just about everything that is good at all, I think. His work is just devastatingly beautiful.

6. Melanie and I did a plaster mold of her belly. It's really swell.


7. She is in the hospital as I am typing. They have instructed her to walk around for an hour to see if She will dialate any further. She's due tomorrow! It's pretty funny, She's been taking the bus everywhere, despite the fact. I think She must want to have Angelica on the bus. Maybe a toothless Granite Falls resident reeking of beer and sweat can wrap her newborn in a dirty t-shirt and cradle it lovingly after she gives birth in the aisle. Wouldn't that be adorable? No, She's just funny- Her pregnancy has gone surprisingly well. I didn't see her much in the beginning, but last week, at 9 months along, She looked great. No huge weight gain, no waddling, no bitchiness... nothing. She's just the same, only She appears to have a large beach ball under her sweatshirt.

8. After months, yes, months, of attempting to teach myself to crochet a hat, I believe I have solved the puzzle. Nurse Debbie showed me the beginning and I spent most of a day ripping out stitches, but today something clicked and I began to see a hat forming! I'm not going to say I can do it yet, but if I finish and it does indeed look like a hat, I will show it to you, I promise. Because I know how much you want to see it. So bad it hurts, right?

9. I figured out THE COOLEST birthday gift for Jesse. Since I'll be in LB fo his birthday, I had to devise something tricky and oh boy I really did it. It will be so cool. I'm jealous of him.

10. We're going to see the Roman art from the Louvre ( oh crap, is it spelled correctly? oh crap...)
THE LOOV, I mean, tomorrow. That is if Melanie doesn't have Angelica. Maybe we should bring her along. She could give birth among the masterpieces? Oh yes and a curator could scowl at us and fidget with his-or-her glasses and we could rope her off with those red-velvet and brass contraptions they have at museums and stuff to keep people in lines. So it goes...